Ever find yourself in the middle of a group of people and not sure where you fit?

Have a math problem to solve only to find the denominator is zero? 😅🤪

Let your imagination run a bit too wild and now you’re not sure where reality and your own imagination collide..? 🤷🏽‍♀️

Have a crush on someone and not sure how they feel about you?

Ever feel like something in life is just undefined?

If I’m being completely honest I have…LOTS of times.

When my life feels undefined (and it did quite recently 🙃) these are the things that I remind myself of:

I am not defined by:

⁃ My income

⁃ My job title

⁃ My address

Or even:

⁃ my relationship status

⁃ the # of friends I do or don’t have

⁃ My Saturday plans

⁃ The compliments I do or don’t receive

Because the truth is I’ve already been DEFINED by the creator of the universe….and if I’m being completely honest, for me that’s definition enough.


You are enough.

The simple yet complex phrase that I keep reminding myself.

Because life happens.

And this thing called life is filled with both ups and downs.

And I don’t know about you, but in the midst of life, I sometimes find myself doing something new and different. And if I’m being completely honest, new and different can be uncomfortable…really uncomfortable.

But as I found myself reflecting on 2017 and (looking forward to 2018!) I realized something! In spite of my feelings of discomfort, I was always enough! I was always skilled enough to solve the problem…Or at least smart enough to ask for help! Selfless enough to maintain my friendships…or at least humble enough to apologize for my mistakes! Pretty enough to take the selfie…or resourceful enough to use a filter! 😝

And though we don’t know what 2018 will hold, that “enough-ness” will go w/ us. Because chances are we’re not perfect and our lives aren’t either, but one thing I am certain of….

You, me, we are enough.

“Noise!! Noise! Noise!” 

**In my Grinchiest voice**
Have you ever realized that our lives are noisy?!

Facebook notifications, IG stories, tv, and news apps alerting us to the latest catastrophe or political gaffe…It all adds up to a whole lot of noise!

And I recently realized that when life gets too noisy:

  1. I miss the still small (most important) voice
  2. I begin to believe and accept what the noise is saying
  3. I live my life a little more stressed

So, I took a couple of days, and silenced as much of the noise in my life as I could!

Here were my rules:

  1. No Facebook
  2. No Twitter
  3. No IG
  4. No news apps
  5. No TV (j/k I did still watch TV 😬)

Just a girl and her thoughts ☺️ 💭

And here’s what happened:

  • I actually had a phone conversation
  •  Remembered something that was going on in a friend’s life & checked on her
  • Cooked dinner more than once!
  • Worked a few extra hrs at work
  • Took my dog for a walk
  • Wanted to actually talk to people
  • Decided that I’m adorable 😅🙈
  • Felt more peaceful

And sure I missed out on a few news headlines and Facebook posts, but for a few days my life was quieter. And I was reminded that so much of the noise and busyness in my own life, I have the power to control..!

But bc I can’t live like a hermit forever and bc my friends statuses and posts aren’t going to like themselves (lol) I resubscribed to some of the noise, but this time I was armed w/ one simple reminder: never to let my life get so noisy that I miss the people, the moments and the conversations that really do matter.

I Really Hope So…

I thought I’d be married by now…or at least in a serious relationship…

I just kind of assumed that by now I’d have my own place…

I thought my job would sound more impressive…

My dog would be better trained…

And I’d be working on a book about balancing it all…

But I paused for a moment in late July and it seemed like discouragement met me there (exhaustion met me there too, but that’s a story for some other time!). It reminded me of all the dreams that I do have, but seemed to also inform me of how far off attaining them would be. And I tried to play it cool. Tried to act like none of it bothered me. But if I’m being completely honest, it really did bother me…ALL OF IT BOTHERED ME.

And so I found myself having a moment of seriously wondering what my future would look like.  And while discouragement tried to meet me in this moment too, the voices of two of my friends drowned out anything discouragement was trying to whisper. Because their voices were LOUDER.  They encouraged me and talked about the future, not like some distant dream land, but like a reality that was inevitable and attainable.

And while their encouragement was invaluable and I am forever grateful, I knew that I would have to start drowning out the voice of discouragement for myself. Because they won’t always be there… and in that space of trying to figure out how to encourage myself, I met a new friend, hope. Hope met me there.

Not immediately, though…it took a little while, I wish she would have come sooner, maybe she got lost lbs… But seriously! Hope came and bridged the gap between my today and tomorrow.  It acknowledged that I may not be where I thought I would, but I can still get there! Hope gave me hope!

I found this definition of hope that’s now my new fave! It simply defines hope as “a feeling of trust.” For me, this was so profound because if you had asked me what hope was before I looked it up, I would have written it off as the substance of fairy tales and daydreams, but my new friend hope is so much more than that! She’s not that superficial!

Hope is there when the chasm between who I am and who I want to become feels too great, too big, too distant…hope gives me a feeling of trust that my dreams and goals are gonna happen (as long as I continue to work towards them :)).

Hope’s voice in my life is now LOUD!

So what do you hope for?

I hope…

That one day I’ll find the one my soul loves and we’ll be married!

I’ll have my own place, and it’ll be in the suburbs and it’ll be super cute and filled w/ friends and family!

My job won’t just be impressive, but it’ll be impressively fulfilling too!

My dog will be perfectly trained!

And I’ll write a book about balancing it all!


But you already knew that…

And our stories often intertwine to create relationships some deep and others superficial, but you probably already knew that too…

But I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately…

How everyone has a story…

And it caused me to reflect on the first seven months of this year — the first 7 months of my story called 2017—and if my 2017 story had a title, it’d probably be called Relationships. With a subtitle about being better in them or something like that. Because it seems like I’ve been constantly challenged to extend love when I don’t want to, or to be considerate when I wish a little more consideration was extended to me or to just simply forgive…

And oftentimes when I’m tempted to judge someone else’s story by the way that theirs impacted mine, I have to remind myself that simply isn’t fair!

Because if I was being completely honest, their impact on my story is just a small part of their story.

And their story isn’t finished being told.

And I don’t always have the privilege of having read the previous chapters of their story- of having seen how others impacted it.

And who am I to judge anyway!?

Because if not today, then possibly tomorrow, I may negatively impact someone else’s story with an unkind word or short response or inconsiderate action… And if I don’t want to be defined by my less than perfect moments, then I probably shouldn’t define others by theirs…

So these first 7 months of 2017 have taught me this simple lesson:

It’s unfair to define someone else’s story simply by the way theirs impacted yours…because if we were being completely honest, there’s more to their story…

…and I do so hope that the rest of their story turns out to be AMAZING!”

How’s your heart?

The question innocently asked by one of my dearest friends, that forever changed the way I lived life and understood my heart.  In that moment, I don’t think either of us understood the gravity of the question asked or the journey that I’d eventually embark on to try to answer it.

And now a couple of years removed from that moment, I look quickly backward and optimistically forward because that little question shapes my life EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

So how’s your heart? Yep, yours! How are you at the deepest part of you? The part that whispers the dreams and hopes you’d be embarrassed to say out loud. The part that knows all too well that sometimes you don’t feel qualified or prepared or simply enough… How are you there?

And what is your heart doing? Is it pushing you forward towards your dreams? Encouraging you to try harder? Or is it whispering words of doubt and discouragement? Telling you to just give up?

I’m convinced that our hearts help shape our destinies.  The condition of your heart will eventually reveal itself to everyone…they’ll have to look no further than your life.

So we want our hearts to be in good condition then, right?

I know I do!

But when I was trying to discover what a heart in good condition looked like, I got stuck at the idea of a guarded heart. Because for me it was almost impossible to reconcile a guarded heart with a heart that loves freely. We all have to reconcile for ourselves the dichotomy that exists between a guarded heart and a loving heart. Because our hearts should be both. Not just for our own sake, but for the sake of our relationships.

I believe real meaningful relationship happens when your heart is seen and understood by someone else. But allowing someone access to one of the deepest parts of who you are is as beautiful as it is frightening! We want what is most dear to us to be protected (guarded), but we also want it to be seen because w/o it being seen, can someone really know us?

If we give up on revealing our hearts, in an effort to guard them, then we give up on relationship and all of the benefits that come with being known, yet still loved.

But if we love recklessly w/ abandon everyone– our hearts will at some point be devastatingly broken. And broken hearts are no fun for anyone :/

But there is NO fear in love.

So if I’m loving someone, but at the same time worrying if they’ll break my heart, then I’m not loving right. And if I’m guarding my heart, only in an effort to prevent it from being broken…then I’m not guarding it right.

I think there’s this beautiful balance that can occur when we reconcile the dichotomy between loving and guarding. It’s the balance that happens when we love everyone…Love everyone uniquely.

A stranger I encounter has less access to my heart than my best friends do. WHY? Because there is a such thing as stranger danger and friendship does in fact have benefits 😉

So I refuse to give up on loving! But I’m not naive enough to do so w/o protecting.

I might get hurt, my heart may get broken, but I choose to make the safest, unsafe decision to love anyway….

Maybe I shouldn’t speak for you but…

Sometimes we’re not great friends.                                

But maybe that’s just me….and like I said maybe I shouldn’t speak for you… but sometimes I get that sinking feeling that seems to suggest that I wasn’t as kind as I could have been, or as considerate or even as fun (lbs). And sometimes I even forget to respond to text messages or choose alone time over hanging out…sometimes I don’t feel like I’m that great a friend.

But being a friend isn’t about a feeling or about being perfect- though our Instagram feeds may suggest otherwise. Being a friend is about being REAL! It’s about tears cried, apologies spoken, mistakes made, misunderstandings, and about deciding that in between all the laughs, inside jokes and perfect pictures posted the relationship is worth it.

So here are 3 ways I’ve found that have helped me to become a better friend:

1. Be Yourself.                                              

Because no one can be you! And before you’re tempted to try to be more like the girl w/ the perfect shoes or perfect outfit, just remember that you’re pretty awesome! And then take that awesomeness and share it w/ your friends!

2. Be Considerate.                                                

Our friends are often different than us. Some need more space, more help, or more encouragement…and that’s ok! Find out what your friend needs and then do that!

3. Be Loved.

This concept has literally rocked my world! In a world where being thirsty 💦 is frowned upon but love and acceptance is looked for knowing that you are already loved is amazing! And when you’re loved, you’re free to be considerate, free to be yourself, and you’re free to be a better friend!

So what are some ways that you found to be a better friend?! Comment below!

Why A Blog?

So if I was being completely honest–and I intend to be 🙂 — this blog is many months in the making.  It’s the culmination of lots of lessons learned, some tears cried and more moments of frustration than I can even count.  It’s the final act in giving up trying to figure out how each part of my life fits.  How each part will one day unfold into the beautiful plan that I hope for and dream about.  It’s an act of obedience that for me doesn’t make a whole lot of sense which is why it’s ultimately an act of complete trust– trust that the plan will work out and be beautiful in its time…

This blog is just a piece of my story.

Can I share it w/ you?