I Really Hope So…

I thought I’d be married by now…or at least in a serious relationship…

I just kind of assumed that by now I’d have my own place…

I thought my job would sound more impressive…

My dog would be better trained…

And I’d be working on a book about balancing it all…

But I paused for a moment in late July and it seemed like discouragement met me there (exhaustion met me there too, but that’s a story for some other time!). It reminded me of all the dreams that I do have, but seemed to also inform me of how far off attaining them would be. And I tried to play it cool. Tried to act like none of it bothered me. But if I’m being completely honest, it really did bother me…ALL OF IT BOTHERED ME.

And so I found myself having a moment of seriously wondering what my future would look like.  And while discouragement tried to meet me in this moment too, the voices of two of my friends drowned out anything discouragement was trying to whisper. Because their voices were LOUDER.  They encouraged me and talked about the future, not like some distant dream land, but like a reality that was inevitable and attainable.

And while their encouragement was invaluable and I am forever grateful, I knew that I would have to start drowning out the voice of discouragement for myself. Because they won’t always be there… and in that space of trying to figure out how to encourage myself, I met a new friend, hope. Hope met me there.

Not immediately, though…it took a little while, I wish she would have come sooner, maybe she got lost lbs… But seriously! Hope came and bridged the gap between my today and tomorrow.  It acknowledged that I may not be where I thought I would, but I can still get there! Hope gave me hope!

I found this definition of hope that’s now my new fave! It simply defines hope as “a feeling of trust.” For me, this was so profound because if you had asked me what hope was before I looked it up, I would have written it off as the substance of fairy tales and daydreams, but my new friend hope is so much more than that! She’s not that superficial!

Hope is there when the chasm between who I am and who I want to become feels too great, too big, too distant…hope gives me a feeling of trust that my dreams and goals are gonna happen (as long as I continue to work towards them :)).

Hope’s voice in my life is now LOUD!

So what do you hope for?

I hope…

That one day I’ll find the one my soul loves and we’ll be married!

I’ll have my own place, and it’ll be in the suburbs and it’ll be super cute and filled w/ friends and family!

My job won’t just be impressive, but it’ll be impressively fulfilling too!

My dog will be perfectly trained!

And I’ll write a book about balancing it all!

3 thoughts on “I Really Hope So…

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